[

~*Mood-->

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excited

]

BAHAMAS!! WOOOOO HOOO!! Band trip 2005...cruise to the BAHAMAS! HELL YEAH!!!!

We have to fundraise to pay for the buses...cuz its only $450-$475 per person...thats not including the buses..so me and Jes have many ideas for fundraising..THIS ROCKS WOOO!!!!

[

~*Mood-->

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sad

]

I HATE MY HAIRCUT! I gave her pic..and explained how I wanted it...but she did her own thing and I'm stuck with a retarted hair cut.

Hoping my hair grows fast...but fast just isnt soon enough....

[

~*Mood-->

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sick

]

We didnt march outside today =)!! We start half time tomorrow....o yippy skippy....=(! but ne ways....we already have an essay for Scibilia's class. Due on Monday. I finished my Rough Copy in class...but I still have to do my final copy. UGH! Not ready for hmwk. But o well. I get paid tomorrow..and I work on saturday from 3-9pm. Tomorrow I'll get my check....cash it....Give them 30bucks....my dad 20...and my sister 10. Jeez I just owe alot of money. But with the resy of my money...I have to get s'more supplies. I need WIDE ruled paper for Scibilia's class...and all I have is college ruled. w/e.....and I'm getting my hair CUT again. This time...it'll be really noticable!!

haha my spanish name is "Luisa"...........!Hola! Me llamas Luisa. Yea its a fun class....2 girls today almost fought as we were getting out..HAHAHA!

Everybody in my family is falling apart....and nobody can fix it.=(....

[	~*Mood-->	|	depressed	]
[	~*Music-->	|	"American Idiot"-Greenday	]

Today we started school...WTF happened to summer...doesnt even feel like we had a summer..more like a break...but ne ways....Spanish is cool :)!! But um...I felt like crap all day..I still do....cant breathe out of my nose...ER!!! We dont have CPC untill Sept. 1st..so today tomorrow and whenever..I get out after 3rd hour..meaning I can come home. Where I'm at now by the way...lol...I dont wanna work today :( I wanna go to the ft. ball game...but I cant! :( Hope natalies having fun in College!

                         I HATE SCHOOL!!!AHHH!

WANTING SOMETHING DONE TO YOUR HAIR? WELL THINK NO MORE! GO TO ERIKA FRANKE AND GET YOUR HAIR HIGHLIGHTED! ONLY $15 PER PERSON! WAY CHEAPER THAN SALON PRICES..AND YOUR HAIR TURNS OUT REALLY KWEL! TRUST ME! ERIKA FRANKE YOU ROCK!

yea^ I'm her new promoter! hehe :)

[	~*Mood-->	|	drained	]
[	~*Music-->	|	"Sex & Candy" -Marcy Playground	]

I got alot of sleep...yet it feels like I havent got any! UGH! I know natalie feels the same as I do. If things arent bad enough..I have little things piling up on top of each other which doesnt make things any easier for me. My Grandpa said that my Grandma is giving up..and she cant give up..she has to beat this...please God let her beat this!  I dont wanna cry all the time..I hate crying....

I dont understand anything...I'm so confused...I dont know who I have feelings for..or who I would want more. Somedays I'll think of TJ and others I think about Josh. WHAT IS THIS?

Well on other news..damn SCHOOL starts tomorrow *gags* I hate school...it NEEDS TO DIE!!! AHHHH!!!! I think I have to go to CPC tomorrow too..not sure.

I have to take care of everything today.........

Emily I'm happy for u...

Natalie I'm sorry brad is leaving...but its ok....he loves u and u love him..

I love my family...and my friends...want u all to know that.....

Life is too short....I'm sorry for everything if I hurt u..or if I said anything I'm sorry....VERY SORRY...so please accept that apoloigy to who ever needed to hear it from me.

Wanting more out of life than u could imagine....

<33~<33

[	~*Mood-->	|	bored	]
[	~*Music-->	|	THE KILLERS	]

Havent updated in a few. Some people piss me off. If u have something to say....use your name...My god!

Work today from 3-9...BLEH

I hate the fact of not knowing or making myself belive the unreal....who cares anymore?

I will not let myself be all on this like I usually am. And I dont even know the smallest things to even assume shit...so I wont bother putting myself thru it.............what chaos we live in...

But for w/e reason..I say FUCK IT ALL!

[	~*Mood-->	|	lonely	]
[	~*Music-->	|	45-shinedown	]

Well....had to work from 11-6....it was OKAY-bleh

came home....ate dinner then went to erikas bday party...and all I could think about was Josh.....

[	~*Mood-->	|	bitchy	]
[	~*Music-->	|	"Alive"-PearlJam	]

0 hour-Sym Band 1 -Glasius

1st hour-JR English 1 -Scibilia

2nd  hour-Jazz Band 1 - Glasius <<(getting swicthed to w/e)

3rd hour-American Government - Carpenter

4th,5th,6th -CPC commercial ART

^ Yupp my schedule....I deiceded not to play SAX for jazz band and to just play clairnet for MARCHING BAND. so I have to switch 2nd hour to w/e is open.....

[	~*Mood-->	|	In Pain	]
[	~*Music-->	|	"Run"-Snow Patrol	]

Havent updated in a while. So I thought I'd quit being lazy and update. So here I am writing about my boring life. Well...Band camp has been a pain in the ass......my ankle is so sore....and I had to wrap up my ankle today so I could still march and do Pre-Game and stuff....so yea...we passed out some more good marching songs....stuff for the stands..and half time. On other news.....My Grandma is doing better...and is home now. She will be doing a couple rounds of Kemo Thearpy..and I hope everything works out for the best. As it should....On other OTHER news...."aww cute lil josh...awww" <lol...Josh is so cute. I think I still Like him.....-?- I duno....relationship stuff confuses me alot....well NE WAYS.....I am so exhausted from everything...YESTERDAY..I had band camp from 8am-2:30pm and then I had to work from 3:30-9pm...so on my feet all day. IT SUCKED!!!!!!!! AHHH!

"Life as we know it can change in one split second. Be sure of what you have and cherish it no matter what it is. Hang on to everything like you'll never have it again. A few words can change your life forever. Remember to live each day like it's your last."

(my view on life)

[	~*Mood-->	|	crushed	]
[	~*Music-->	|	"First Cut is the deepest"-Sheryl Crow	]

----when u think everything is getting better....one phone call changes your life...hearing that your grandma has liver cancer..after just getting out of gullbladder surgery.....you feel like time stops and its hard to breath.....and you cant think straight....I cant ever look at life the same....why us? why her? I hate the fact that I cant make her be ok...even though I cant stop crying...and thinking the worst.......we have to believe that shes going to be ok....we have to build strength....but I'm really scared....I love her so much..and if something happens....my life will never be the same.....----
---praying for her---

I cant stop this feeling of pain...I wish things could be back to normal.....I cant believe this is happening to me......I hate this....*and the tears wont stop*

[

~*Mood-->

|

bouncy

]

Had band camp this morning.....bleh..it was hot outside....and yea...boring lousy filled day...and I hate pizza...grr....and um....we did alot today..our band trip...possibly could be a cruise........who knows...?!

going to cook dinner later.....um..then go visit my gma in the hospital...and my gpa is worrying himself to death...I keep telling him "shes going to be fine" hes like "it doesnt look good" and u cant think like that, it only makes things worse.

all till tomorrow....

HAHA TJ's HOUSE WAS FUN! ;);)*winks*

Um..we got to the hospital around 2ish.....and we waited and waited....I went into the waiting room with my dad,2 aunts, and my sister. I went to go sit on the bench...and as I sat down..I picked my head up and WHAM! I knocked the back of my head really really hard on the frikin suggestion box. OWW! I got a big lump on my head......and I felt dizzy afterwards and I got a headache. So my Aunt Debbie went up to the desk and told somebody what happened. SO we had to wait and wait....for somebody to come. So this lady finally came around...and we filled out an accident report. Then they MADE me go downstairs to the ER! And the stupid lady wouldnt let me walk.....so I got wheeled down there in a wheel chair. LOL....I felt stupid but it was kinda fun......Well I waited down in the ER and then they took my blood pressure.....and that thing hurts...it gets real tight around ur arm and pinches it..damn....but ne who...they filled stuff out on the computer and I waited in the wheel chair and they gave me and ice pack. So I put it on the back of my head.....and I got wheeled to some room....where I waited YET AGAIN for somebody. We filled out more shit on the computer....and then waited to get something for my headache. They gave me a 800mg Motrin. Which is some strong shit. ANY WHO......they wanted to put me on some sort of prescription.........but all I needed was some damn asprin. So after I got the asprin....we could leave. SO we went upstairs and waited in the Surgery waiting room. My grandma didnt end up going into surgery untill quarter after 4....which is complete bullshit......But anyways....it really sucks that u go to visit somebody in the hospital and u end up getting hurt......and getting forced to go into the ER so ppl can check u out. All I needed was some DAMN ASPRIN! JEEZ! But anyways......we're home now...and I can rest.....but I'm leaving at 5 tomorrow morning for upnorth. And I get to drive once we're up there. But...we're coming home sunday afternoon....and maybe I can go with Lindsay to Wild Woody's...if she goes anyways....then MON-FRI I have band camp from 8am-2:30. I work on wed. at 3:30-9.....so yea....then sat I work from 11-6. Then the following wed. We start school. BLEH!!!!

I just woke up and I'm still tired. WTF? But ne ways.....I have to get ready soon and eat something. Because my Grandma is having her surgery today....and we dont know what time it is....or how long we'll be there....so I have to eat b4 I go.....Well.....working at GFS IS totally awesome. I had alot of fun....laughed alot...lol.....as usual. Well katie trained me..that was fun....then we went out to lunch where I didnt eat...came back.....got trained s'more....um.....once it wasnt busy we stocked some stuff....weighed the turkeys..:) thats fun....and then I was by myself. I had a little trouble remembering which tray was the right one.....but I think I got it. And um......yea...but me legs and feet were killing me by time I got home......

so yea....um..hospital just called.....leaving around 1:20 surgery around 2. SO yea...basically my day.

[	~*Mood-->	|	confused	]
[	~*Music-->	|	ONE LAST BREATH-creed	]

Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down
I'm so far down

Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there's somthing left for me
So please come stay with me
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking

I work from 11-6 well training all day...BLEH! Lastnight I thought about TJ and Ian. That Ian would apologize for everything and we'd have something. I duno it was weird. I thought about quizzing tj..it was weird. But ne ways....off to the kitchen to grab some food...head off to the conuseling office so the lady can sign my Work Permit. Then of to GFS!